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Ok - so my wife is taking herself and our daughter down to her mothers this weekend. She knows that I am NOT interested in going so she says, "You can go diving if you like..." (suspicions aroused immediately) - "... I want to go and spend Mothers Day with my mother"

Now, is this one of those female tests? Or am I really safe to go diving?

Which brings me to the second dilema - WHERE SHOULD I GO DIVING ON (MOTHERING) SUNDAY??? And is anyone free to dive with me?
 

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Heads
Suppose if you know a good solicitor you could go diving on Mothers day.  P.A.D.I. proffesional  Association of Divored Instructors.

 

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<font color='#000080'>Just face it, you’re screwed!

If you do go next time she suggests doing something when you’d really rather go diving you’ll get

“I let you go diving on mothers day, how many other blokes got to go diving eh? You don’t realise how lucky you are to have me and you’re so selfish blah blah blah blah blah”

If you don’t go next time she suggests doing something when you’d really rather go diving you’ll get

“You had your chance to go diving on mothers day, how many other blokes got to go diving eh? You don’t realise how lucky you are to have me and you’re so selfish blah blah blah blah blah”

Good luck with your ‘choice’


paul
 

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Heads
Suppose if you know a good solicitor you could go diving on Mothers day. P.A.D.I. proffesional Association of Divored Instructors.
Tony,

Nearly right mate: that's a new PADI Speciality "How and Where to Dive Successfully & Enjoyably Whilst Currently Being in a Divorced State (and I don't mean Wissconsin) "

Sorry Jay mate, I'm up in Edinburgh doing non-water-related stuff with Fiona (that's mine, not Gav's).

There's bound to be someone out looking for a wet. Enjoy it either way squire.
 

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I assure you it's a test, Heads!  You go diving and you will pay for it 10 times over.  It really isn't worth it, not for anything.

Turn it around and go to her mother's, then you have the emotional bank balance well and truly in your favour.  Next time it is a chouce, you get to say, "well we did go to your mother's on Mother's Day"......bingo, battle won!  Beware, you can only use this spell once, so use it wisely young one....
 

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[b said:
Quote[/b] (Bren Tierney @ Mar. 26 2003,22:41)]Sorry Jay mate, I'm up in Edinburgh doing non-water-related stuff ...
<font color='#000F22'>What are you doing in the UKs best city ... have you a pass for said trip ... wanna drink whisky on Fri?
 

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Heads.... it's worse than you thought mate.....

------------------------------------------------------------





Are you afraid little one? ………………. Not nearly enough.

I know what hunts you…………..

In the first age the Dark Lord made many rings of power.

4 were given to the race of Men, who were weak and craved power.
And 3 were given the race of Woman, who were pure and light.

But the Dark Lord had deceived them all and made a one ring to rule them all.

The 4 rings of Men were not powerful but were given high names to fool the Men.
They were named Fathers Day, Easter Sunday, Pancake Day and Halloween.
But the rings had no power.

The 3 rings given to the race of Women were rings of power and should not have been used. But the Dark Lord knew that the race of Women would fall under the power of the 3 great rings, and so plotted to use these rings to bring the fall of the race of Men. The 3 rings of power were called Christmas, Birthday and Valentines.

And so it came to pass that the race of Women, who were once pure and light, fell under the spell of the 3 rings, and slowly turned against the race of Men. They used the rings to take from Men all their worldly possessions and dignity.

And so the darkness fell about the free lands and the end was close for the race of Men.

But then one Man came forward, a Man of long forgotten heirs, and he carried with him the hopes of all the free lands. For he had the one true ring, taken from the Dark Lord and lost for age upon age.

For this Man carried the ruling ring of power, the ring named…… Mothers Day.

And so this one Man set forth to destroy the one ring, travelling under the name Heads, in the common tongue. He was set the task by the Dive Masters of old to cast the ring into the dark, cold depths of Stoney Cove, where the ring was first made and could, only there be unmade.

So Heads, you take upon you this quest for the good of all, look for friends where you would not and look for danger when you feel safe.

You carry the fate of us all, little one………………………….

-----------------------------------------------------------

Hey, that would make a great film you know.......


Cheers

Mark
 

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Mark, that was funny.  Nice One!

Jay,  call her bluff - but not enthusiastically, you know, that teenage-brand of sulking grudge-ing acceptance (the one we men know so well) - test her to the edge and then, go diving!
 

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Jay mate,

use this opportunity to your advantage,ie.get brownie points for later.You may well have to suffer some temporary discomfort(A day at you MIL's
)but in the future you have a shining example to remind her of whenever you need to....

Now,face it mate,you're not going Diving on Sunday,if you do you'll be in aworld of s**t.This is a female test of the most covert nature but you can survive smelling of roses Ok?

Make/let her beleive you've accepted her "offer" and are going.Let her see your little face light up at the prospect of diving and you dribble with the anticipation.

Book a table for you all inc.MIL etc at nice restauraunt for the afternoon.
Ring MIL and tell her the secret plan and not to cook,even if she hates you(does she?)she'll love this and a MIL is a strong ally!

 Have flowers delivered to MIL's(tell MIL before hand but not re.the bunch for MIL herself),one bunch from you to MIL,one on behalf of the Daughter,a small token bunch from you just cause you love her,OK.

Let the build up begin,if Wife digs or drops subtle hints just don't take them on,make a point of letting her overhear your planing for this great dive and how good she is for letting you go etc.She'll beleive what she wants too and may get funny be carefull and don't surrrender.The depth of her feelings now are directly proportional to those after the suprise is sprung.

Come Sunday morn,throw your kit in the car,drop the family off at MIL's and drive off.Turn your mobile off,give it ten mins and go back.If she does'nt shed a tear and melt then....all's lost she has no feelings
.

She'll never forget the sacrifce you've made and it'll keep you in days out diving and your own way for ages.Situation resolved at (reasonable)cost to your advantage.

Women have many states of mind occuring at any one time,the problem is that none of them are working in sync.with each other.

More than one way to skin a cat!

HTH,
Hobby.
 

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[b said:
Quote[/b] (Gavin Yates @ Mar. 27 2003,10:07)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Bren Tierney @ Mar. 26 2003,22:41)]Sorry Jay mate, I'm up in Edinburgh doing non-water-related stuff ...
What are you doing in the UKs best city ... have you a pass for said trip ... wanna drink whisky on Fri?
Hi Gav,

Fiona and I are arriving in Eedinberg (apologies for the US pronuciation) about midday on Saturday. Fi's got a weekend off for a change (booked weeks in advance) and we're visiting friends we've not seen since last year, so I'll have to take a rain-check on that single malt squire. Will deffo call in the chip some time soon though, if ya don't mind?

It was good to see you both at Abbs mate. Give our love to Fi (yours).

Bren.
 

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<font color='#0000FF'>I'm with the others, its a test! "If you really cared you come with me etc...."

Anyhoo, same issues here, I'm giveing 'er indoors a lift to her mum's , its only about 90 miles away...  

Chee-az
Steve
PS you have NO idea how expensive diviorce can be, , trust me I know  
 
 

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Just not enough dive time.
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Guys
I cant stand this any longer. Mark (Seadart not Chase) I loved the book, a film please, can we be extras in the Stoney war scene.
Back to the point, I dont have all the answers BUT I have been married for 25 yrs (soon) so I think I've picked up a bit of sense on the way. DONT whatever you do take Hobby's advice, they hate that sort of thing (well mine does) she'll look really bad. Only you know your missus, if she said go diving (and she meant it) then do it. However if you have the SLIGHTEST doubt dont go, or you will pay an awful price, new decorations throughout the house , carpet etc. Lou is absolutely spot-on, if you stay at home you will have a use once card, not a licence to print dive passes ad infinitum.
As my boy said if you pee her off she will rant and rave, if you REALLY pee her off she wont speak to you - so if you think diving will pee her off and can stand the grief do it, or buy some kit as well and have peace for a while, your choice my boy.
Matt
 

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Matt.

Been on to those in charge at Stoney re: Filming location for Lord Of The Rings - YD Underwater Version.

Not looking good, they said....

"Wouldn't trust that lot [YD] with water pistols let alone fcu*king great big swords"

Our reputation seems to preceed us, never mind, have to blow the filming budget down the pub then.  



Cheers

Mark
 

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Just not enough dive time.
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Me and the boy were going to use our bows, he reckoned that the guys in the other film were rubbish!

We've got a budget - go for it! Mines a Bud.

Matt
 

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Bloody Hell Hobby.  I knew you learnt all kinds of tricks and short-cuts to make your life easier in commercial diving - but hats off to you mate - You are indeed a pro.  That was some kind of plan you put together there - one you tried yourself perhap's?


Anyway - we clearly aren't even in the same league as you when it comes to earning brownie points.

We're not worthy, we're not worthy.
 

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You've seen the MIL mate,kept me cornered all night,sweating with fear.They've just shipped her off to Iraq for some psychological warfare against the Replubican Guard.I'm only joking........................................

Maciavellian rules Ok!
As Matt says though some would see through it and hate it,altough being women they'd reap the benefits first!
Take care,hope to see you soon,Hobby.
 

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I am sure they are different beings than us, they have X-Ray eyes and the ability to record conversations from light years ago, word for word, that 'normal' beings have forgotten.
Dont go near them they are evil

Matt
 

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Thing is Matt, even if they don't remember they sure as hell know that we don't and so can make up what ever they like - if they say if angry/stroppy/sexy enough then they know we don't stand a chance!

Ah Women, can't live with 'em......anybody for a dive?
 

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Hobby - you're twisted! Plain and simple - good plan but it seems to hinge on me spending some cash??

I may well do the MIL's thing as I am possibly going to spring a surprise diving week in Malta on her in a few weeks (boy will she be surprised!) so I do need the brownie points. That being said, it now appears that the MIL gig is an overnighter on the Sat and we really don't get on that well so will have to see on this one.

I'll keep you updated

Regards

Dildo Boggit
 
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