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Wreck Ferret in training
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566 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, so I'm getting a little older, less fit and more infirm, or so my wife keeps telling me! I always have to squeeze a last pee out before zipping up and after a long dive I often need to drop my kit on the bench and go relieve myself again.

The time has obviously come for me to find, fit and learn to use a P-valve so where do I start... on line forums of course. I spent quite some time searching through some very informative posts on this and at one point my wife and I were nearly pee-ing ourselves with laughter at some of the comments - priceless so well done for sharing guys!!!

Anyway, I eventually bought an O3 P-valve and fitted it myself. I then found myself reading all sorts of medical posts and reviews on catheters and soon found that in fact, the catheter is more important than the P-valve! Prior to a planned big dive, I did a "dry run" so to speak. I put the catheter on (not an easy task with a sleepy mannie!), slipped into my base layer and undersuit then climbed into my drysuit and attempted to "plumb in" for the first time. All seemed fine so I was happy enough. I decided since the plumbing seemed to go okay that I would take the gear off but leave the catheter on until I needed to go, just to be sure that it didn't come off. This task was duly completed and although it felt a little strange, no big deal.

Final task, catheter removal. I knew that this may be problematic so was prepare to take my time but holy sh*t, nightmare! 30 mins later standing in the shower with roasting hot flannel wrapped around the wee mannie to try and loosen the glue and I was in agony. It was about now that I started to question the advice I had followed of forcing yourself into the smallest catheter you can fit!

The following day, my big dive was cancelled so I decided to dive a local quarry and "plumb in" to test the P-valve for real. My wee mannie was still red raw in some places from the previous experience so I planned to try a larger size and also was debating adding some vaseline to stop the glue sticking so good on my tender areas. I called a dive buddy who is a nurse and happened to be working, and like the complete professional she is, she told all her work mates who duly p*ssed themselves laughing at my predicament. Anyway, the plan was followed, the fitment was much easier than previous (more space so my wee mannie got to fit much closer to the top) and the dive was undertaken. I had been deliberately pouring water down my neck all morning and hadn't relieved myself prior to suiting up so part way through my dive I felt the need. Again, my advice was a little at a time and as slow as possible so off we go. The pressure builds the pipe straightens, the heat is felt, I am waiting on the "pop" and "sploosh" but it seems okay. A very weird and unnatural feeling but nice all the same. It takes me all of my concentration so I just hover around 12m next to a rock as I am letting go. By the end of the dive I realize that I need to go again so rather then rushing out to dekit, I go again. Same as previous, very weird but it seems to work.

Once out and "de-plumbed" I check out my wee mannie and he is doing a "tortoise impression" hiding up the inside of his home - hmm! No one was around so I take the brave decisions to have a go at removing the catheter there and then and to my surprise, it came off without any tears (thanks to the vaseline maybe?) - job done.

So what have I learned from the above...

P-valves are cool and every dry suit should have one
Peeing underwater is weird but nice
Catheter choice, size and application is critical to the whole operation (I need to work on this!)
 

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I can't speak for the guys, but from my POV, now i am used to having a p-valve, it is really weird when i don't 'plumb in'. I dived a couple of short dives on Saturday, and decided not to plumb in. Not being able to just made me need a wee more.

So, from now on... - if my dry suit is on, so will the she-p be :)
 

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A VS Cash Cow
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17,832 Posts
The advice I got for easing the removal - do not wash him with soap before putting the jobbie on. You need the skin's natural oils to help with the removal.
a small amount of moisturiser also helps.

other thing is to simply accept that sometimes it will fail and you will pi$$ youself and smell like a demented 80 year old when you take off your suit........

like 2/3rs of HPDW in Malta.
 

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Dive plan: go down, swim about a bit, come back up
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401 Posts
I called a dive buddy who is a nurse and happened to be working, and like the complete professional she is, she told all her work mates who duly p*ssed themselves laughing at my predicament.
:teeth: You actually started a coffee time debate on how much you should know about your friends. It was decided that I know way too much about you :angel:.
 

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Wreck Ferret in training
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566 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
:teeth: You actually started a coffee time debate on how much you should know about your friends. It was decided that I know way too much about you :angel:.
Now Susan, that is obviously a lie as the first thing you said to me when I mentioned "catheter" to you was "extra small". Cheeky but obviously not true at all. Thanks for your help and not laughing too much. Feel free to borrow a box of man sized catheters from work and pass my way as they seem to be bloody expensive as well as painful if used incorrectly.

Cheers
Gar
 
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