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Discussion Starter #1
My modeling career has previously been mired in controversy. The last time my pert and manly physique was exposed to public adoration was when I was Mr February in the Devon edition of Rare Breeds gazette. Sales of that hallowed organ increased by 88,000%, the post office refused to deliver any more shipping containers of unlaundered underwear sent by adoring housewives, and a plague of homosexuality swept the county. This was only curtailed when, on the insistance of the church of England, Shirley Bassey tunes were played on all TV and radio stations to keep the Godless deviants indoors.

So when I stepped off the lift of the well known fast food outlet and dive boat Top Gun in Bigbury bay today, it was with some trepidation. Would Uwilla and PeeBee be able to capture the old magic that had put 17 members of the Ilfracombe women's institute into intensive care with post orgasmic fatigue syndrome?

The plankton was thick. So thick in fact, that it had previously been rejected as a big brother contestant. Strangely, I left the surface with PeeBee but by the time I had decended through 14 metres of Campbells vegetable broth, or so it seemed, I landed on top of uwilla. Our pre-dive briefing had been entirely concerned with how many sugars we wanted in our tea after the dive so some of Uwilla's hand signals, which I could barely see anyway, were baffling. To assist in communicating, Uwilla helpfully employed his powerful umbilical torch which left my retinas sizzling like cooked bacon. I thought I was blind but Uwilla reassured me by firing two laser powered camera strobes through the back of my eyes and into my frontal lobe. He did this over 20 times.

The chilly water was a great comfort and soon stopped my mask from melting any further. There were not many fish around but we found lots of invertebrate life and I studied it with great interest before uwilla vapourised it with his nuclear powered strobe ray. All too soon, I had guzzled too much nitrox and after half an hour we headed up. I would have done a three minute safety stop but I was gagging for a cup of tea so I did a 20 second one instead.

So, if anyone on YD envies Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell or that chunky one related to that Tales of the Unexpected wierdo, Just remember, modelling is not all glamour. :embarassed:
 

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Madame Wheelie-Bin
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I heard that you finally discovered that the sea is salty;)
Oh God, don't start that one here! I can't believe he told you all that we talked about!!!!! :angel:

Nice one Nick! You are your usual gorgeous self, I'm glad to see! :girlhug:
 

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Nope was not him, never met the man. Methinks I'm missing something here... all I know is that he got splashed in the face, tasted it and said it was salty... yep definately missing something!:wink:
 

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Squidgey Member
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. There were not many fish around but we found lots of invertebrate life and I studied it with great interest before uwilla vapourised it with his nuclear powered strobe ray. All too soon, I had guzzled too much nitrox and after half an hour we headed up. I would have done a three minute safety stop but I was gagging for a cup of tea so I did a 20 second one instead.

So, if anyone on YD envies Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell or that chunky one related to that Tales of the Unexpected wierdo, Just remember, modelling is not all glamour. :embarassed:[/QUOTE]

A grate day was had by all and as for the invertibrate life" This kept frosty smiling all afternoon.http://




The brown blobs are the plankton Soup.
 
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Notice my avatar. I am hard astern.
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. There were not many fish around but we found lots of invertebrate life and I studied it with great interest before uwilla vapourised it with his nuclear powered strobe ray. ]

I've got more interesting animals living in my pubic hair!
 
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. There were not many fish around but we found lots of invertebrate life and I studied it with great interest before uwilla vapourised it with his nuclear powered strobe ray. ]

I've got more interesting animals living in my pubic hair!
Oh dear, best get yourself down to your nearest GUM clinic then. If you're worried about letting your other half know, they will inform her for you :wink:
 

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Discussion Starter #12
. There were not many fish around but we found lots of invertebrate life and I studied it with great interest before uwilla vapourised it with his nuclear powered strobe ray. ]

I've got more interesting animals living in my pubic hair!
You should have a 'Hollywood'. The chicks love it and you never have to worry about 'loose baccy' when you're wearing your wife's G-string.
 

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BJ
I've got more interesting animals living in my pubic hair![/QUOTE]

If you want a chance to win this months underwater photo comp get sombody with an industrial strength camera who is very drunk to take a photo of your arse and capture one of these critters. :D
 

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I should point out to the more naive among you, that this was a turn-of-phrase rather than a factual statement!
 

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Sounds fantatastic, hope it this good next month when im down your way

veg soup, stoney, i should be right at home lol
 
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