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All hail the mighty ZOM
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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
So Wednesday I get a call from KateR asking if she would be better driving from Thetford to my place, staying overnight then driving down together on Friday morning. After a little deliberation that's just what she did.

Biddley beep and off goes the alarm at 6:30. Up and toast and leave at 7:30 to go and sit in a bit of traffic round Birmingham then a bit more on the Wey into Weymouth (luckily GPS bint took us down some side lanes and we drove round a fair bit of it).

Arrived at the Riketty Pontoon at 12 noon and got all the guff out of the car. KateR then Commenced Faffing while I phoned an increasingly stressed sounding Janos where the phone call went something along the lines of:

"Freeeeeooooooooowwnnnnn brrrrrrrrrrummmmmmm shit shit shit shit get out of my way what do you want Woz?"
"Where are you, oh Porked one?"
"Still on the effin jeffing motorway call me back with the very very latest ropes off bye"

After a while Janos's GPS bint drifted from the "doable if it was 3am" to "im-bloody-possible even with a helicopter". So off the ropes went and we had a gentle chug out, remarking how calm the water looked and asking if Smudge had any Hat Sauce to go with the hat I was sweating into especially for him to munch on as he claimed "if I don't hit the Salsette I'll eat my hat" then failed to bring one. I did ask if the dice swinging from the screen were for rolling until he hit a six then he shouts "shot away" at which point the tone was set for the day.

So there were just 6 on the boat- a Mr and Mrs pair who were very lovely (Ray and ummm Mary I think), me and KateR and SoggyFox who is very nice too apart from his excessively curly hair and the final place was a Smudge-tastic booking. Pootled out drinking a couple of coffees and arrived on site with plenty of time to hit the nice long slack although one of my regs was slowly weeping air from somewhere. Ho hum. Smudge had several goes at hitting the wreck and finally walked away from the winch sweating and looking pleased with himself. I stowed my hat safely so he wouldn't lose something to snack on.

In we went as a 3- me, KateR and Nick (SoggyFox). Down to 6 for a bubble check then another pause at 30 to make sure we were all tiketty-boo before continuing down to the wreck. Well sort of. Admittedly the shot was on "some wreckage" which was a couple of plates at a wobbly and decidedly warm 47m. After making sure the shot was free for pulling, a couple of fin strokes up tide and the side of the hull loomed in the torches. Hmmmmmm. Maybe a bit of hat nibbling for Smudge.

So we got to the wreck and turned left, arriving at the stern after a bit of upping and downing. A bit of line on her, lots of fish and on the way back towards the bow, a couple of very pleasant swimthroughs under the deck beams. Jolly nice. At an agreed 20 mins deco time as we hit some interesting looking railings I bagged up and we all pootled up. Switched at 21 to a heady mix of welding O2 and club air then finished off deco acting A Bit of a Tit. Finning backwards, round and round, playing diver bumpercars, paper-scissors-stone, the ok signal game and finishing off the last 10 mins clipped onto the reel upside down blowing bubbles at the surface. All very silly. Switched back to backgas as my stage was somewhat tight. Ahem.

Back on board for pasties, hot chocolate and doughnuts and for me, a nice long poo in his very nice toilet, only ruined by an Out Of Bogroll Error. Luckily the 80% drop tank was in there with me so I had something fresh to breathe.

The off for Capn Smudge's 2nd dive, a drifty-wrecky-eco dive, the Royal Adelaide off Chesil beach. Found a lobster and managed to coax him out of his hole but the little bugger got away and the other 2 were looking at something else. Loads of trigger fish looking very tropical. Gently drifted off to the next bit 'o wreck where we found the boiler and a massive conger in it next to another massive conger. And a massive crab.

At this point SoggyFox got taken in by the Stone Game. Well done Nick. Always nice to get someone new.

Another lobster, this one sadly well inside some flat plates refused to come out despite my sexiest impression of a female lobster and some pretty lurid knife-handle waving.

Back on the boat for more hot chocolate, a Penguin or 2 and the Doughnut Challenge which I failed as I licked my lips but I did have a whole doughnut in my mouth at this time and was gently choking to death.

Finally made it back to Portland for about 7pm where we de-kitted the boat and all went our seperate ways after giving Smudge some folding for looking after us and getting us (pretty close) to the Salsette.

So. A rather lovely day. Great weather, one of my favourite boat/skipper combos and a cracking dive. We were trying to think of ways of improving the boat on the way in and came up with nowt which is a good sign. Thanks to Smudge and Helena for looking after us.

Beats sitting in traffic.... :D
 

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A short fat well off crap cave diver. Likes wrecks
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15,343 Posts
Phaaa, It wasn't a scatch on our epic Kyararea thingey dive.

I think we were the first ever to dive this virgin wreck :shade:

ATB

Mark
 

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3,124 Posts
come on, 'fess up, what did you do to Scimitar? it broke down on the Salsette on saturday

thankfully I was not on it at the time. I was on Goose. which broke down two minute out of the harbour on the way to the Sky
 

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A VS Cash Cow
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17,832 Posts
At this point SoggyFox got taken in by the Stone Game. Well done Nick. Always nice to get someone new.

:D
i have to profess that had me confused.

"why are you giving me a stone?"

twas a great day and annoyed the hell out of all my mates cos i was diving and they were working, so it worked well on lots of levels.
 

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All hail the mighty ZOM
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26,851 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
i have to profess that had me confused.

"why are you giving me a stone?"

twas a great day and annoyed the hell out of all my mates cos i was diving and they were working, so it worked well on lots of levels.
The aim of the game is to see how long they'll carry it for. If they drop it you can pick it up and give it to them with a slightly annoyed look and see if they carry in any further.

I've had novices clinging onto a stone all dive then get out with it at Stoney then give it to me in a "there you go I've been holding your stone for you" then look somewhat annoyed as I say "thank you" and throw it back in.
 

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A short fat well off crap cave diver. Likes wrecks
Joined
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15,343 Posts
Or there is the AndyP version where he picks up stones and lumps of iron and balances them on your back between the twin 12s.

Your boyancy and trim goes wrong and you cant figure out why you keep having to inject gas untill you role over and the whole lot falls off and you rocket skyward.

Oh how I laughed :frown:

ATB

Mark
 

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"Three sheds"
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12,688 Posts
Fecking M25.

Why did it decide to be blocked for one junction which turned a 3 hours journey into a 5 hour one.

And a fecking tractor tried to kill me on the A27 as I was doing AHEM-AHEM-AHEM mph on a dual carriage way AND HE PULLED INTO THE SECOND LANE 10mph. A TRACTOR FFS!!!!! TOWING A TRAILOR!!!!

Slammed on the anchors and lived.

Still Chasey and I had a good dive on the Kyarra, one of my best to date, and I had a good weekend in Weymouth despite 11 hours of driving on Friday. Honest.

Janos
 
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