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All hail the mighty ZOM
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So off we pootle to Weymuff- me and bottle_monkey on Thu night. Stopped of half way for a gently flame grilled beef-pattie serves with a tomato jus and salad between 2 buns. And chips. The conversation went:

Me: can I have 2 double whoppers with cheese and can you supersize them. One with coke, one with Fanta
BK: would you like some onion rings on the side?
Me: no thanks I'm trying to lose some weight

Finally we arrive at the accommodation at about 10:30 on Portland. BM was looking a bit down so I told him to pick himself up off the ground as we were in a new town so there was no need to feel unhappy as there was a place we could go even though we were short of dough.

Yep- we were staying at Portland YMCA. Comfy, cheap and clean. Perfect for divers.

The welcome beepitty beep the next morning at 6:30 was ignored until 7 when we got up, got coffeed up then had a light breakfast before heading off to meet the boat, Scimitar down in Castletown. BM then faffed for England, swore alot and borrowed spanners to get his twinset set up properly. Met up with the other 1/3 of Team Pork with his Kiss and the rest of the boat which was Mark Powell teaching a trimix course and his 3 students along with Finbar the safety diver and a couple of other randoms. Cup o tea while everyone got sorted then off to dive the Iolanthe.

Sea was a bit choppy on the way out but not too bad- kitting up was ok apart from the occasional lurch across the boat. Dropped in and did a bubble check at 6m then down the shot to 30m where we paused for an "are we all ok?" check before hitting the bottom at a thoroughly unhealthy and narked 45m, smack bang in the middle of the wreck. A couple of minutes acclimatisation then off we finned to do a bit of explorin'. Found a few lobsters, the boilers and Mark and his students where surprisingly Mark was not being A Bastard to them. Finbar was of course by this time on open circuit, his Inspo having undergone a Total Existence Failure. Shortly after that and about 20mins into the dive BM gives me a nudge, points to his Cyklon and makes the Gareth Hunt coffee beans signal that it was FUBAR. So at that point we thumb it, I fire a blob and up we go to 21m for a switch to fiddy with Janos hovering about on his breather. A few mins of deco then up and back on the boat which did an admirable job of trying to brain us while we waited for the lift to descend.

Inter-dive pasties followed with hot chocolates and a continual stream of filth being peddled with many "high fives" and "I make a love explosion on your face" being trilled across the deck.

Second dive was the Countess in the harbour with BM sitting it out after getting a stinking headache after sucking in water through his knackered reg. First time I'd done it and was a thoroughly enjoyable pootle, me carefully wandering through the silty swimthrough, doing a perfect helicopter turn to find it totally undisturbed then heading back through it, ploughs down and buggering the viz to buggery. Woo hoo. Also found a hole that was just a little too small for Team Pork to get through but just the right size to get a bit stuck.

Up and back on the boat where Mark's Trimix course was in its "Mark's being a Bastard" phase as there were yellow blobs popping up and a drop-tank ready to throw over the side, which we did although we did contemplate dropping other things including Finbar's Inspo (which had also blown a solenoid) and Finbar's boots.

So- a thoroughly pleasant day out, a good crack and nice to meet up with Mark again. Thanks to Smudge for looking after us (top skipper), Mark for being a Thoroughly Nice Bloke, the barmaid in the pub afterwards for having Cracking Tits and a Low Cut Top and Poseidon for making shite regs.

Scimitar Diving Ltd Hardboat Diving Made Easy
 

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I like my login so much I put my name on it...
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1,451 Posts
So- a thoroughly pleasant day out, a good crack and nice to meet up with Mark again. Thanks to Smudge for looking after us (top skipper), Mark for being a Thoroughly Nice Bloke, the barmaid in the pub afterwards for having Cracking Tits and a Low Cut Top and Poseidon for making shite regs.
Out of, urr, interest, what pub was this? ;)
 

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Retired depth-junkie, just a holiday scooby now
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1,130 Posts
Theres 2 normaly cracking fit pieces in the pub opposite breakwater in castle town. Many a apres dive pint sunken in there watching them 2 lovleys:spliff:




ATB
Gareth
 

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More yokel than local moi luvver
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1,280 Posts
OK enough's enough's thats my sister your talking about

Dave
 

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aka Chimp 1 or Mavis...
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10,108 Posts
Nice report Woz, sounds like you had fun.

Have some green for your efforts.
 

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All hail the mighty ZOM
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26,851 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
OK enough's enough's thats my sister your talking about
Well in that case your sister has cracking jugs.

It was the hotel place opposite Dive Dorset. Have no idea what her face looked like as I didn't give it much consideration.
 

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Retired depth-junkie, just a holiday scooby now
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1,130 Posts
OK enough's enough's thats my sister your talking about

Dave
Yo swissDave, If the blond is your sister how about introducing me next time i am down that way in september diving the Illinios:tongue:

Im a good boy honest:D .





ATB
Gareth
 

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More yokel than local moi luvver
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1,280 Posts
Yes that is my half sister,no she's not my half brother as well, were not that close a family:p
Depth Junkie how can i say this diplomatically, er no:D
Woz, She remembers you, her words not mine"we had some right salad dodger in the other night, all he done was stare at my tit's allnignt".
Sorry boys she's married as well.

Dave
 

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Yes that is my half sister,no she's not my half brother as well, were not that close a family:p
Depth Junkie how can i say this diplomatically, er no:D
Woz, She remembers you, her words not mine"we had some right salad dodger in the other night, all he done was stare at my tit's allnignt".
Sorry boys she's married as well.

Dave
Woz, me and Howrd will turn the husband, then she's all yours.

And I think if she'd seen Woz she'd have probably including slightly balding in the description as well. Must have been someone else :)

Digs.
 

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"Three sheds"
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12,688 Posts
Well I've just got back from a day in Waheymouth and then a couple of days in Portsmouth. Waheymouth was fab. Worth geting up at 0345 for (yes really). Sadly I misjudged how long it would take me to drive down and ended up in the carpark outside the Aquahotel at 0620 for an 0800 leave.

Ah bollocks.

Still the Iolanthe was a great dive. Superb viz, and a shame that we had to go up because of Kev's dodgy regs. So it goes.

I was very surprised by the Countess of Erne. It was a really, really really nice dive. Plenty of life, including a lobster, and the viz was a good 5m, except in the bits we'd already been, where it was a good 5cm.

And the barmaid in the pub does have a superb decolletage.

Janos
 
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