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Here's a dilemma that shows what you're real attitude to diving is;
You have 1 goodie bag and in front of your face is 1 porthole and 1 Lobster. Do you?
(a) Jam the Lobbie in the bag and start considering how much lemon you like on it and whether you prefer body meat or claw meat.  OR,
(b) Crowbar the porthole off, put it in, and start thinking about clearing some space in the garage so you can forget about it. OR,
© Crowbar off the porthole, stick it in the bag, lift up the Lobbie, try to carry the whole lot up the shotline only to get bitten by the beast and lose it all at your deco stop. OR,
(d) Stick the Lobbie in the bag, crowbar off the porthole and try to carry it up with you only to drop the porthole at your deco stop, have a tantrum and throw the bag away only to realise it's too deep to retrieve. OR,
(e) Take nothing and then piss off every other diver on the boat when you tell them what a goody-bloody-two shoes you are.

Answers on a postcard please to;
Drunk Diver looking for his balls,
963 decostop close,
P.O. Yellow box#60mtr+

Peter(I'll get my coat right now)Kelly      
 

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Easy - open bottle of Islay and drink until you pass out.

If passsing out fails to occur after one bottle then repeat.
 

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(e) of course!!!!!

 
:greenangel:  

But you knew that'd be the answer from this tree-hugger, did't ya??
 

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Well, it's gotta be (e).

Then, when back on the boat, and some other diver has nicked the porthole you really would have liked, you can do the 'holier than thou' bit, and extoll to virtues of good diving practices on all who are unfortunate enough to be within earshot.

Then, crack open that bottle of Eslay!!
 

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none of the above. If there is a porthole there's a wreck where there's a wreck there's gold.
So sod the lobby and the porthole lets get me digging equipment.
Now what are the co-ordinace for this lobby and porthpole?
:menani: .
Bob
 

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E

I don't eat lobster and I don't carry a crowbar..
 

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Nearest is C.put porthole in bag,purge reg on Lobby to confuse then whack with crowbar.Subdued,put in bag with port.Tie it off to shot or attach to SMB and let it carry the bag up as you ascend.Use crowbar to dissuade complaining on boat.Never,ever let go of anything!
Hobby.
 

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Options U & N:

Claim the Lobby has claws of mass destruction.
Invade Lobby's hidey hole to remove the evil crustacean from power.
Take control of Lobby's reserves of portholes in the name of the free world.
Use Lobby's hidey hole as a base to launch offensive on nearby Conga who has recently re-activated a nuclear powered ships bell.


Soon the sea bed will be mine.... you hear me?  ALL MINE....HAHAHAHA

Mark
 

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Glad to see so many think "E's are good, e's are good..." ;) :rock_band:

Steve - whale hugging hippy - W   :peace:

(Edited by Steve W at 11:59 am on Feb. 27, 2003)
 

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Just not enough dive time.
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None of the above, poxy dry-suits leaking cos my buddy didnt do up the zip proper and I didnt check either and had to abort poxy dive.
Sod it.

Oh OK in a corner I'm with the girlies and Steve, (e) of course. Its my feminie side OK.
Matt
 

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Creature of the night
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None of the above, put the lobby in the bag tie the p/hole and goodie bag to a lift bag and send up
 

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A short fat well off crap cave diver. Likes wrecks
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Use weight of porthole to hold lobbie in the bottom of the goody bag to make way for crab and scollops

Get back on boat. Empty goody bag and throw now usless porthole over side of boat

Mark Chase
 

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DUE CEO, Booking agent, Coffee maker & Dogsbody...
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Hi

Have to go along with Steve S on this one. But then Steve W knew i would. Problem arises if you have 2 lobsters to put in the bag, which is quite difficult to achieve as they are very good at getting out. Plus the bigger will proberably kill the smaller long before you get home, and you want them both fresh for the pot.

Of course you can hold one in each hand and raise your cuff to dump on assent.

Had the problem last year when i was about to tie the shot line off on the wreck that a monster lobster appeared to watch me. Choise tie of shot or abandone shot and grab lobster? Unfortunatly i made the wrong choice and tied the shot, as soon as i had finished the lobster shot back into its deep hole.

Ho hum this year maybe? I know where he lives.

Regards

Paul
 

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easyyyyyyyy     .... have a commercial diver with you that carries 3 goodie bags , 3 lift bags ,,, and as many tools that can be sent down to him,
 

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old time
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OHHH pete,, lemon on a lobby
???
U sure mate.

Good old melt edam, thats the topping
 

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DUE CEO, Booking agent, Coffee maker & Dogsbody...
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Guys

Sorry about my drunken spelling, rather embarassing.

Cooking tips for Lobsters:-

If you get it in the pot as soon as you get in it is done just right at the same time as you finnish washing your kit and having a shower.

Try not to download your computer at the same time as it makes a mess of the keyboard.

Regards

Paul
 
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