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C-in-C the Amphibious Contingent
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1,421 Posts
Can I have one?

I'm sick of the bloody creatures cacking all over my garden, not nice to clear up - and it stinks. I usually have to get my OH to do it - I loose my stomach contents if I try. That would be superb - a guard tortoise!
 

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No social integrator
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4,457 Posts
That's great - I reckon my cat would 'ave it though. It's only 9 months old and managed to take down a squirrel the other day :eek:

I'm sick of the bloody creatures cacking all over my garden, not nice to clear up - and it stinks. I usually have to get my OH to do it - I loose my stomach contents if I try. That would be superb - a guard tortoise!
Foolproof solution - get your own cat :angel:
 

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Sub-optimal DIR wannabe
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1,038 Posts
I am not going to make friends here but if you really want rid of them...

Have a nice fryup in with lots of grease in the frying pan.
Get some DRY cotton wool
Roll cotton wool around in grease
Place said cotton wool around garden
Cat eats cotton wool but since it's dry, it should expand internally
Cat die and problem goes away.

No need to thank me, and reds are added at the top right.

:D :D :D :D
 

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Sub-optimal DIR wannabe
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1,038 Posts
Women have cats.
Men have dogs.
Real men have dogs who eat cats.
 

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Resident Windfarmologist
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1,852 Posts

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Sub-optimal DIR wannabe
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1,038 Posts
i know a .22-250 rifle would work :D
I often find that when I'm hunting pussy, they are put off by the use of centre-fire. By using something that makes contact with the rim initially rather straight up the middle, the effect can be considerablly improved.
 

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Oz Ninja
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453 Posts
Cats

Buy a copy of:


101 uses for a dead cat.


Full of useful ideas...:angel:
 

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Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam
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13,407 Posts
Feed it epsom salts daily, it'll get chronic intestinal "difficulties" which the owners will get fed up with and the vets will be unable to explain and they'll eventually have it put down.

This public service announcement comes highly recommended by a pigeon fancier I know.

Not a cheap solution but James Purdey and Sons - Home Page


Stand by for the red blobs !


.
Sir has excellent taste, over/under is for Johnny Foreigner.

Cheers,

Stuart
 

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Registered
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4,526 Posts
I often find that when I'm hunting pussy, they are put off by the use of centre-fire. By using something that makes contact with the rim initially rather straight up the middle, the effect can be considerablly improved.
That is terrible. That's keyboard number 6 so far this year! :D
 
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