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I was there bank holiday weekend with Mr Powell... didn't look like that though! That firey globe wasn't hanging heavy in the sky and everything else was blowing around something rotten! Are you SUUUUURE it's the same place? :)
 

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I was there bank holiday weekend with Mr Powell... didn't look like that though! That firey globe wasn't hanging heavy in the sky and everything else was blowing around something rotten! Are you SUUUUURE it's the same place? :)
this place......
and this is the boat you were on :teeth:

 

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'twas a good weekend indeed. Thanks to AntP for organising! And DaveArcher for establishing a new level of diving fashion :)
 

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An excellent weekend at Dive Dorset, Portland (a trully first class dive operation*)

A "could have been worse for a sunny June weekend" type drive down led to our merry band of ex-urbanFish divers slaking M3 aggravated thirsts in the Portland Roads on Friday night.

Then a very comfortable nights sleep and great breakfast in that dive operation to end all dive operations, Dive Dorest*

AntP arranged this weekend, largely cos he has a thing for neap tides, and could hardly picked a better one weather wise - hot sun, cool breeze, sea like a mirror! Perfect (except for the fog).

1st Dive - Aeolian Sky, 30m

Fog, so back up the shot you buggers, sayeth Troy, the foul mouthed skipper of Topgun this weeked :D Better reel off from it then as navigation is not our strong point, say Ant and I. LOADS of other boats out at the Sky.

"Cheeky cnut!" shouts our skipper at Helen, who is inoccently filling the mask bucket :eek: Not you, the skipper over there he clarifies. The look of shock on her face has the rest of us cracking up :teeth:

Predictions of diver soup come true, very much not helped by the skipper of Smooth Hound dropping his divers on our shot right on the heels of our first pair in (Ant and I) without so much as asking. Thanks for that.

This dive is a bit of a cock-up for me. I've added the crotch strap back to my harness in an effort to combat being overly head heavy. Of course I've not fastened the darn thing cos I'm not used to it being there, so it's flapping like a monkey tail at 6m and I resolve to sort it once down on the wreck. This I duly do, then fasten strobe onto shotline (among diver soup), Ant get's his reel out and off we go.

Reeling off proves a right pain when surrounded by dozens of divers (and such a big wreck too, grrr), and viz isn't too bad at a slightly snotty 4m or so, so reeling is binned and off we fin.

Something doesn't feel right, what's this starting to flap at my side....? Weightbelt is slipping off because some idiot, after undoing waiststrap to pass it through the crotch strap loop, has somehow manage to fasten his waiststrap through his weight belt buckle. Doh! Not a mid water job this, down a few metres to the seabed, get everything correctly fastende and we're off again. Rest of the dive was pretty good... except the shot had 24 divers all wanting to be at 6m at the same time - mucho fin meet mask was had by all I think, ho hum.

Excellent lunch at complete class act of a dive centre Dive Dorset, punctuated by thrilling conversation with top bloke co-owner Dave Wallace*.

2nd Dive - BlackHawk Bow, 16m

"Still foggy, so back up the shot again" can just about be made out from the stream of filfth coming from Troy's mouth.

Great dive bimbling around the strewn wreckage, loads of fish, huge silver thing I later learn from Troy is a "effin mullet you effin *^&*@!"

Shocked to find I can no longer take my mask off underwater. WTF I used to help student with this all the time!?! Try again...nope, stone me I was close to bolting then, a real stop breathe think act needed to overcoe the flight urge. Gutted. How can this be? Really going to be fun on Adv Nitrox + Deco Procs course with Mark Powell in four weeks time. Ugh. Bimble off again, but little back of mind voices are chattering. Need to get that sorted sharpish.

Totally lost in the bimble, forget all about the back up the shot idea, bimble back to where it should be, has metamorphasised into a school of bib. Great for hanging in playing at being one of our fishy bretheren, bugger all use for getting back to the boat. Search some more... time's up... oh well, blob up, nice slow ascent, is there going to a boat up here or just a load of thick fog...?

It's a boat, not much fog anymore, and a shotline buoy about 6m away, excellent.

Back to the fantastically apportioned Dive Dorset on their wonderful boat Topgun*, tanks in for fills and a great dinner in the Portland Roads. Dinner conversation sinks to new lows. Do not google "space docking", you have been warned.

3rd Dive - HMS Sidon, 35m

We had booked to do the M2, but Sky Diver Soup has put us off and we switch to the Sidon to avoid the crowds. Good call. At least 5 boats heading for the M2, just (the fantastic pair of Dive Dorset boats*) Topgun and Goose heading for Sidon. Nice ride out, hot sun, total mirror calm sea, and the Dive Dorset nitrox mixes are found to be bang on the money at the requetsed 30%.

Arrive early before slack, no rush, it up slow, wait, wait, give thanks for not having put drysuit on fully yet. Look at that shot line, I can see down it 10m surely! No fog. Bright sun streaming straight down. Good vibes for this dive.

Finally the pellet is up, well, visible at 5m at least! "Take this effin thing and effin well effin release it if that effin shot is on the effin wreck like it better effin had be you effer" curses Troy at out first pair in.

Down and down and down some more, wow that is a big pollack... and a submarine. Top dive, free swimming conger, conger faces in ever hole , jewel anenomes, DMF's all over, impressive tail gear on this sub, biiiig pollack. Loving it. 120bar in twin 12s, agreed time to go point Ant... what's that you say? You have 110bar. You want to pottle along the wreck just a bit more? OK then, plan the dive, sod the plan (a last act of rebellion before Mark P beats some sense into us next trip? :D).

Up we go, nice and slow, lots of time at 3 metres please say the Suuntos. Bended and mended, surface with 80 bar, after 57mins out of our 60 max . We could have planned it :D

Ah. The effin lift effin hydraulics are effin kaput! Stand on lift, take kit off, 12s hauled up, clamber up. No the most graceful end to a dive, but hey, what can you do if the hydraulics won't play ball, hey Troy?

Well, turns out you could put the lever in the right position and it bingo all works like magic back at the jetty :D Two Ts in Matthews and only one T in Twat :D Er....

One of our guy's has had a bit of a narced near panic and binned the dive from depth, but controlled it and got back safe and sound. Well done for keeping cool under pressure.

More alarmingly good Dive Dorset food and fills service (you really need to get down to Dive Dorest folks!*)

4th Dive - The Countess. 12m. In the harbour.

How have we managed to plan this as the finish to a great weekend Ant? Dive times and long drives back, yeah fair enough. Half hit the road early. We consider changing to a scallop hunt, but two others are booked for the Countess, Tim leading his daughter on her first UK sea dive, so the Countess we do.

Actually I really enjoyed it, pootle pootle pootle, through the inside, lots of nudi's... no vis left thanks to Helen digging herself secure positions in the dirt from which to photograph them, cheers H ;)

Right, over to the harbour wall and into the shallows, I'm taking this mask off it it kills me (or I have to lift my head out the water!). Flood clear flood clear, no problem, ease mask off, hmmm yeah not liking that water on nose feeling! How the fcuk can I be having this problem?! Grrrrrrrr, annoyed at self, but stop breathe stop breathe, that's better, ease it off, stop breeeathe, off it comes, breeeeathe easy, there you go, breeeathe, open eyes, cool... this is easy, ha ha! Back on, clear, off, look around, on, clear, off, look, on, ah ha, it's a synch again, easy, off, put spare on, off, look, easy! Thank God for that. Swim all the way back to the boat maskless. Make mental note, this is one skill you need to practice frequently boyo, do not get that rusty again. Surface with red eyes like someone's ground sand into them, and a huge grin.

Back once more to Dive Dorset, what a place!*

Not a bad drive back, roll on 4 weeks time.... when my dive centre of choice is without doubt Dive Dorset!*

Cheers,
Dave.

*OK Dave? Can I assume the remaining photos of my expedition to the boundaries of diving fashion and beyond are now confined to the great sandals socks and tights heaven in the sky??? :D

PS could a kind Mod please move to Trip Reports, thanks.

PPS Troy cheers for a fine weekend, boss-man I'm just kidding about the effin language :angel:
 

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Great report Dave. Hopefully Helen will be along to add her atmospheric wide angle shots of the sidon soon ;) Speaking of the Sidon, what is the massive gun barrel to the rear of the conning tower pointing towards the stern. Looked a little large and unmanoevereable to actually be a gun. Anyone know?

Viz was around 4-6m all weekend - apart from the accursed silt pit of the countess natch - still plenty of stringy plankton in the water hanging around far too long for my liking.

Laters, Ant
 

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We consider changing to a scallop hunt, but two others are booked for the Countess, Tim leading his daughter on her first UK sea dive, so the Countess we do.
She enjoyed every moment of it, especially seeing "international marine rescue" in action saving small animals with sharp knives.

Thanks for sticking with the planned dive. Next time, we can go after the scallops.

Tim
 

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I get the impression Dave was totally corrupted on the Pikey Shandy Gig last year, he now appears to have plummeted to real Pikey Dude dress standards :eek:

I'm sure on other gigs he was far more presentable than this :eek:mg:
 

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She enjoyed every moment of it, especially seeing "international marine rescue" in action saving small animals with sharp knives.

Thanks for sticking with the planned dive. Next time, we can go after the scallops.

Tim
Ah, I did wonder from the HID and bootless twins whether you might be from this neck of the woods :) Good to say hello, and glad she enjoyed it.

It was a bit like rescuing a beached dolphin with a pitch fork admittedly, but the good intent was there :D

Dave
 

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I get the impression Dave was totally corrupted on the Pikey Shandy Gig last year, he now appears to have plummeted to real Pikey Dude dress standards :eek:

I'm sure on other gigs he was far more presentable than this :eek:mg:
Bloody typical isn't it? No camera to be seen the next day, when I'm looking like a cross between an elite memeber of the SBS and the milk tray man, as is the norm ;)
 

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I was there bank holiday weekend with Mr Powell... didn't look like that though! That firey globe wasn't hanging heavy in the sky and everything else was blowing around something rotten! Are you SUUUUURE it's the same place? :)
Mmm, and I was there 12th May when the boats had to be moored at my whelk eating spot 'cos of the weather. Trust me, it didn't look like that when we went out!



AntP arranged this weekend, largely cos he has a thing for neap tides, and could hardly picked a better one weather wise - hot sun, cool breeze, sea like a mirror! Perfect (except for the fog).

1st Dive - Aeolian Sky, 30m

Fog, so back up the shot you buggers, sayeth Troy, the foul mouthed skipper of Topgun this weeked :D Better reel off from it then as navigation is not our strong point, say Ant and I. LOADS of other boats out at the Sky.

PPS Troy cheers for a fine weekend, boss-man I'm just kidding about the effin language :angel:
Great trip report Dave :thumbsup:

I was out of Weymouth on the club weekend and had the same fog "return to the shot" situation, but it was worded more like " unless it become difficult, can you please come up the shot? Fewer dSMBs to chase the better "
Took a view that, as the viz was ok and, there were so many divers down there, lining off was not the best option. My first experience of a jacuzzi at 6m :p Don't think I heard the skipper swear once. Reckon I did though :rolleyes:
 

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Sidon "Gun barrels"

Speaking of the Sidon, what is the massive gun barrel to the rear of the conning tower pointing towards the stern. Looked a little large and unmanoevereable to actually be a gun. Anyone know?
I believe (and thus may be wrong) that it's a snorkle - yeh, just like what PADI use, only bigger!;) :D. The idea was that the sub could recharge it's batteries by running the diesel engines while still submerged.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
*OK Dave? Can I assume the remaining photos of my expedition to the boundaries of diving fashion and beyond are now confined to the great sandals socks and tights heaven in the sky??? :D
Ok Dave - Photos duly destroyed - you can safely edit the post and put the truth in now:teeth:
 

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:thumbs_up:
I believe (and thus may be wrong) that it's a snorkle - yeh, just like what PADI use, only bigger!;) :D. The idea was that the sub could recharge it's batteries by running the diesel engines while still submerged.

Good man - that sounds like an extremely plausible explanation :thumbsup:

Cheers, Ant
 

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"Predictions of diver soup come true, very much not helped by the skipper of Smooth Hound dropping his divers on our shot right on the heels of our first pair in (Ant and I) without so much as asking. Thanks for that."

good report dave, if a little incorrect! but then I guess you couldnt hear the vhf radio. I did in fact contact troy, and was given the go ahead to use the shot.
probably better that we co-operate with each other when sites are crowded than be squeezing more and more shotlines in!
Sorry you felt "put upon" but rest assured, any time you roll up to a wreck that I have shotted, you are as welcome as anyone else to use it.
mike.
 

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Mike, apologies, I understood from Troy you'd not OKed it with him, but I must have misunderstood that.

Completely agree that skippers should co-operate at crowded sites too.

Fact remains though it was a bloody crowded shot on ascent with 20 odd divers on very similar plans (yes I am off to buy a jon-line ;)). Maybe staggering entries a bit would have helped? But I admit I don't know how long neap slack on the Sky is, so maybe impractical.

Anyway, no big deal, and if skippers have agreed it before hand than it's a different kettle of diver soup entirely :)

Cheers,
Dave.
 
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