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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Last night as I snoozed fitfully beneath my spongebob square pants duvet, I dreamt of forbidden al fresco trysts with domestic godesses blessed with norks the size of pressure cookers. As we skipped carefree through verdant elysian fields I was forced to abandon my ardour and slink frustratedly to the pub (The bungeed wing (free house)) before waking with a start, my Sesame street jim jams moist with sweat.

So why, despite her pleas, could I not fulfil N******s every whim? The answer is oilseed rape. This stinking luminous weed now infests every corner of our yellow and unpleasant smelling land. No plant needs to be that yellow. It's just tacky if not tarty. And it smells like a tramps Y-fronts. That in my opinion is why the birth rate is falling. Nobody fancies a roll in the hay anymore when it's too hot to stay indoors because all the hay has been replaced by a custard coloured, hyperallergenic weed with a socially awkward name.
 

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However when converted into cooking oil, I believe ratios of 25-40% can be accomodated by pre cat diesel engines. Just remember to declare unto gordon that which you should cough up.
 

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Last night as I snoozed fitfully beneath my spongebob square pants duvet, I dreamt of forbidden al fresco trysts with domestic godesses blessed with norks the size of pressure cookers. As we skipped carefree through verdant elysian fields I was forced to abandon my ardour and slink frustratedly to the pub (The bungeed wing (free house)) before waking with a start, my Sesame street jim jams moist with sweat.

So why, despite her pleas, could I not fulfil N******s every whim? The answer is oilseed rape. This stinking luminous weed now infests evert corner of our yellow and unpleasant smelling land. No plant needs to be that yellow. It's just tacky if not tarty. And it smells like a tramps Y-fronts. That in my opinion is why the birth rate is falling. Nobody fancies a roll in the hay anymore when it's too hot to stay indoors because all the hay has been replaced by a custard coloured, hyperallergenic weed with a socially awkward name.
One person's meat is another person's poison. I like the colour of rapeseed: it is the colour of daffodils, sunshine and the gloves I use for washing up (an activity undertaken and enjoyed by REAL domestic goddesses). It is also a good wee earner for the poor farmer (even though I've never met a poor farmer), and is crucial to many aspects of industry, etc. The only problem I have with rapeseed is it's contribution to the exacerbation of hayfever for thousands of poor sufferers. That and the fact that YOUR problem with it keeps waking me up from a deep and meaningful discussion with Russel Crowe - keep it down will you, Frosty?!
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
However when converted into cooking oil, I believe ratios of 25-40% can be accomodated by pre cat diesel engines. Just remember to declare unto gordon that which you should cough up.
Fair enough but it'll take more than that to persuade my paramour to enjoy a game of hide the sausage surrounded by the foul vegetation...

One person's meat is another person's poison. I like the colour of rapeseed: it is the colour of daffodils, sunshine and the gloves I use for washing up (an activity undertaken and enjoyed by REAL domestic goddesses). It is also a good wee earner for the poor farmer (even though I've never met a poor farmer), and is crucial to many aspects of industry, etc. The only problem I have with rapeseed is it's contribution to the exacerbation of hayfever for thousands of poor sufferers. That and the fact that YOUR problem with it keeps waking me up from a deep and meaningful discussion with Russel Crowe - keep it down will you, Frosty?!
You've done the washing up? Did you take a photo for posterity?





Amy and Digger, eat your heart out.:popcorn:
 

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You've done the washing up? Did you take a photo for posterity?
Come into the kitchen approximately 5 minutes after we have finished dinner tomorrow evening and you can see me in action with the Fairy Liquid, you cheeky snowman! :D I never grudge this domestic drudgery, as it usually follows a fabulous meal created by you. By the way, I thoroughly enjoyed your hot pork earlier. Mmmmmm. :embarassed:
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Come into the kitchen approximately 5 minutes after we have finished dinner tomorrow evening and you can see me in action with the Fairy Liquid, you cheeky snowman! :D I never grudge this domestic drudgery, as it usually follows a fabulous meal created by you. By the way, I thoroughly enjoyed your hot pork earlier. Mmmmmm. :embarassed:
As any mortal woman would. But surely we're overlooking the real issue here. This is a green and pleasant land which has been ravaged by that acursed plant. What's next? The pineapple fields of Dorset?:angry:
 

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Don't feel blue, think pink!
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As any mortal woman would. But surely we're overlooking the real issue here. This is a green and pleasant land which has been ravaged by that acursed plant. What's next? The pineapple fields of Dorset?:angry:
What a fabulous idea! And I thought you were a luddite, silly me! Anyway, I think that the buttery yellow of the rapeseed breaks up the blandness of the bucolic 'many shades of green' English countryside landscape.
 

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Do you 2 take turns to logon to the computer and then communicate via YD? :D Why don't you 2 just talk across the lounge like most normal people do? ;)
 

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Do you 2 take turns to logon to the computer and then communicate via YD? :D Why don't you 2 just talk across the lounge like most normal people do? ;)
:D
 

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the birth rate is falling because everyone has a TV these days and nearly every football match is shown.....:)

Adam
 

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the birth rate is falling because everyone has a TV these days and nearly every football match is shown.....:)

Adam
sorry but if there is football on then I am more likely to try and increase birth rate. :)
 

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However when converted into cooking oil, I believe ratios of 25-40% can be accomodated by pre cat diesel engines. Just remember to declare unto gordon that which you should cough up.

nah you can get nearer 80% quite hapily on a common rail citroen engine or with a new fuel pump 100%

Fin
 

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The birth rate is down because we have the TV. People are not watching the football, but are watching the news and worried that 'their kids will turn out like that'.

Or they work out the true cost of a child and discover that it is cheaper to get several rebreathers.

Mine, for example, got a brand new pair fo school shoes (£38ffs) on Monday, for start of term Tuesday. (I would have made him wear the old ones, but the left shoe was in 2 pieces). I picked him up yesteday to find that he had been playing playground football in them. Scuffed to buggery they are, already :(
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Or they work out the true cost of a child and discover that it is cheaper to get several rebreathers.

Mine, for example, got a brand new pair fo school shoes (£38ffs) on Monday, for start of term Tuesday. (I would have made him wear the old ones, but the left shoe was in 2 pieces). I picked him up yesteday to find that he had been playing playground football in them. Scuffed to buggery they are, already :(
You're too soft on that young man. When I need more sofna lime my kids go onto bread and water for a while.:D
 

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The birth rate is down because we have the TV. People are not watching the football, but are watching the news and worried that 'their kids will turn out like that'.

Or they work out the true cost of a child and discover that it is cheaper to get several rebreathers.

Mine, for example, got a brand new pair fo school shoes (£38ffs) on Monday, for start of term Tuesday. (I would have made him wear the old ones, but the left shoe was in 2 pieces). I picked him up yesteday to find that he had been playing playground football in them. Scuffed to buggery they are, already :(
its only a scuff, bit of clarks shoe restorer or Kiwi if thats your preference. a good polish and you wil hardly notice.
I would rather my girl came home from school with scuffed shoes as ahe has been outside playing than have pristine shoes as she has been sat round doing nothing.
and I have to agree that kids shoes are horrendously priced my 5 yr olds cost £30, I can get 3 pairs of shoes for that or at least 2 fills of 40% in the twin 12s:)
 

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Bah thats nothing,

New cricket bat (size 5) £100, new cricket boots £45, cricket whites £35, helmet £79, gloves £25, pads £40. Second cricket bat (size 6) £100

New rugby boots, because no matter how hard I tried to ignore him, the wincing when he tried to cram his feet into the ones I bought at the end of last year was too much to bear £35.

New school shoes £35, two pairs of trouser £12 (ASDA) shirts x 5 £6 (Asda again - god bless ASDA).

And that was just one of them and only last weekend. Got to sort out the other one this weekend, and she has taken up tennis - oh goody.

Andrew
 

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its only a scuff, bit of clarks shoe restorer or Kiwi if thats your preference. a good polish and you wil hardly notice.
I would rather my girl came home from school with scuffed shoes as ahe has been outside playing than have pristine shoes as she has been sat round doing nothing.
and I have to agree that kids shoes are horrendously priced my 5 yr olds cost £30, I can get 3 pairs of shoes for that or at least 2 fills of 40% in the twin 12s:)
Yeah... TBH, so would I, but his trainers were in the bag!
He has come home with holes in brand new school trousers before now - thank goodness they were ASDA, or Tescos or somehting (£3).

Fortunately, he has never come home with snails or worms though.

I don't know if i am just being cynical, but how come, when you go to get shoes for them they never have the £28 ones in the right size, and the only ones that can possibly fit are the most expensive ones in the shop?
 

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Yeah... TBH, so would I, but his trainers were in the bag!
He has come home with holes in brand new school trousers before now - thank goodness they were ASDA, or Tescos or somehting (£3).

Fortunately, he has never come home with snails or worms though.

I don't know if i am just being cynical, but how come, when you go to get shoes for them they never have the £28 ones in the right size, and the only ones that can possibly fit are the most expensive ones in the shop?
sounds like my wardrobe costs, £3 for tesco jeans £5 for an ASDA shirt etc.

except for suits, gotta pay good money for a good suit, never les than £400 for a suit.
 
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