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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I like women. They are frequently decorative and they often smell nice. They are the nicest thing a chap can have intimate relations with too. But the more I encounter them, the less I understand. A bit like that Lost programme on the telly.

I was in Tesco in the bustling metropolis of Newton Abbot today. It being Friday, I had purchased a punnet of kumquats, two parsnips and a bottle of organic baby oil. As I walked back to my vehicle, I had to tackle two sloping ramps to the upper car park. Half way up I encountered a curvaceous bottom squeezed precariously into a pair of black jeans. As I am now married, I averted my gaze and pretended to be studying a blue tit in a nearby tree.

The thing is that the bottom, well, its owner really, was struggling to push a heavilly laden trolley up the slope. Being a gentleman, noble, chivalrous, courteous and modest, I asked if she would like me to push the heavy load up the slope for her.

'No and how dare you.' came the surprising reply.

'People like you never get tired of patronising women do you?' she went on.

I said I was sorry she took my offer that way and returned to my car.

I was just trying to be polite. If it had been an elderly man or anyone struggling, I would have offered to help. The fact that she also had a rack on her like a dead heat in a zeppelin race is of no consequence.

Is this what women want? Is simple, common courtesy now regarded as insulting? If that's the case, I think it's a step in the wrong direction. :confused:
 

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A pseudo-vegetarian tree hugger!
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If it makes you feel better you I would have let you push my trolley. I'm all for being patronised when it comes to not having to carry heavy stuff - especially at dive sites. :D
 

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MIFLEX DIR = "Did It Rupture"??
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**************.
 

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Notice my avatar. I am hard astern.
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My wife tells me I love women. Actually I love sex but that's another matter. My house is always full of women and I own three of my own (red blob coming).

After many years of working and living with many beautiful and sexy women, I have found out WHAT WOMEN WANT:

























Their own way!
 
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Notice my avatar. I am hard astern.
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Mr Frosty,

You can always feel free to push my trolley!
 

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I'd have just told her she was an ungrateful cow, and that it's no wonder she's out shopping while her husband is boffing the neighbours pretending to be at work.

Unbelievable. I went out of my way to be nice to somebody last week, and they were genuinely surprised, grateful and said as much. So there are nice people out there who will take a helping hand when it's offered. Dozy bint.

Digs.
 

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Learn your lesson, think of a witty repost before you ask in future ”no wonder those jeans are to tight if your scoffing that lot” should break the ice nicely and show that you’re a new man.

I find women in supermarkets quite scary (“super” ? I prefer the dentist) I often think I’ve walked into a zombie film, it’s the dead look in their eyes as they stare straight through you. Blocking the isle while yakking for ten minutes or positioning a trolley to stop you grabbing a tin, while agonising for ages over which brand of peas cannot be just chance.

I think I spotted a spello, should that have read "relations with two too".?

Sag
 

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Spider Crabs can just f*ck off
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Were you drooling and rubbing your hands together when you made your offer? Were you stroking your bottle of baby oil? Were you fingering your kumquats?

I bet you were doing one of the above. You were, weren't you! :D
 

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Likes to play his bongo's in the morning
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she obviously found the OP to be of an unattractive nature....

either that or wondered what the parsnip and baby oil was for....
 

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She probably took one look at your shopping and thought 'pervert' - let's face it, a punnet of kumquats, two parsnips and a bottle of organic baby oil sounds like the shopping list of a screaming pervert to me.

Seriously though - in the interest of equality and all that - I'll let you not only push my shopping trolley but you can also go out and do the shopping for me and pay for it. Just drop it off around the back of my house - I'll pick it up off the doorstep when I return home from work. Cheers.
 

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Notice my avatar. I am hard astern.
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You can't blame women. They have to put up with a lot because some young men are really gross.
 
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A short fat well off crap cave diver. Likes wrecks
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I like women. They are frequently decorative and the often smell nice. They are the nicest thing a chap can have intimate relations with too. But the more I encounter them, the less I understand. A bit like that Lost programme on the telly.

I was in Tesco in the bustling metropolis of Newton Abbot today. It being Friday, I had purchased a punnet of kumquats, two parsnips and a bottle of organic baby oil. As I walked back to my vehicle, I had to tackle two sloping ramps to the upper car park. Half way up I encountered a curvaceous bottom squeezed precariously into a pair of black jeans. As I am now married, I averted my gaze and pretended to be studying a blue tit in a nearby tree.

The thing is that the bottom, well, its owner really, was struggling to push a heavilly laden trolley up the slope. Being a gentleman, noble, chivalrous, courteous and modest, I asked if she would like me to push the heavy load up the slope for her.

'No and how dare you.' came the surprising reply.

'People like you never get tired of patronising women do you?' she went on.

I said I was sorry she took my offer that way and returned to my car.

I was just trying to be polite. If it had been an elderly man or anyone struggling, I would have offered to help. The fact that she also had a rack on her like a dead heat in a zeppelin race is of no consequence.

Is this what women want? Is simple, common courtesy now regarded as insulting? If that's the case, I think it's a step in the wrong direction. :confused:



You herd the joke about the Priest who when offered a single wish by God he asked for a bridge built from England to America so he didn't have to fly or go by boat

God pointed out the massive drain on the earths resources and damage to the environment it would take to build such a bridge, so suggested the man think of a less demanding wish.

The priest apolagised for the selfishness of his first wish and thought for a while. He then decided that he would like to have womens psychology explained to him so he could be a better preist and better serve his parishioners.





God opted for the bridge.

ATB

Mark
 
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