If it makes you feel better you I would have let you push my trolley. I'm all for being patronised when it comes to not having to carry heavy stuff - especially at dive sites. 
Women. A plea for understanding.
I like women. They are frequently decorative and they often smell nice. They are the nicest thing a chap can have intimate relations with too. But the more I encounter them, the less I understand. A bit like that Lost programme on the telly.
I was in Tesco in the bustling metropolis of Newton Abbot today. It being Friday, I had purchased a punnet of kumquats, two parsnips and a bottle of organic baby oil. As I walked back to my vehicle, I had to tackle two sloping ramps to the upper car park. Half way up I encountered a curvaceous bottom squeezed precariously into a pair of black jeans. As I am now married, I averted my gaze and pretended to be studying a blue tit in a nearby tree.
The thing is that the bottom, well, its owner really, was struggling to push a heavilly laden trolley up the slope. Being a gentleman, noble, chivalrous, courteous and modest, I asked if she would like me to push the heavy load up the slope for her.
'No and how dare you.' came the surprising reply.
'People like you never get tired of patronising women do you?' she went on.
I said I was sorry she took my offer that way and returned to my car.
I was just trying to be polite. If it had been an elderly man or anyone struggling, I would have offered to help. The fact that she also had a rack on her like a dead heat in a zeppelin race is of no consequence.
Is this what women want? Is simple, common courtesy now regarded as insulting? If that's the case, I think it's a step in the wrong direction.
I was in Tesco in the bustling metropolis of Newton Abbot today. It being Friday, I had purchased a punnet of kumquats, two parsnips and a bottle of organic baby oil. As I walked back to my vehicle, I had to tackle two sloping ramps to the upper car park. Half way up I encountered a curvaceous bottom squeezed precariously into a pair of black jeans. As I am now married, I averted my gaze and pretended to be studying a blue tit in a nearby tree.
The thing is that the bottom, well, its owner really, was struggling to push a heavilly laden trolley up the slope. Being a gentleman, noble, chivalrous, courteous and modest, I asked if she would like me to push the heavy load up the slope for her.
'No and how dare you.' came the surprising reply.
'People like you never get tired of patronising women do you?' she went on.
I said I was sorry she took my offer that way and returned to my car.
I was just trying to be polite. If it had been an elderly man or anyone struggling, I would have offered to help. The fact that she also had a rack on her like a dead heat in a zeppelin race is of no consequence.
Is this what women want? Is simple, common courtesy now regarded as insulting? If that's the case, I think it's a step in the wrong direction.
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Were you drooling and rubbing your hands together when you made your offer? Were you stroking your bottle of baby oil? Were you fingering your kumquats?
I bet you were doing one of the above. You were, weren't you!
I bet you were doing one of the above. You were, weren't you!
you would have been able to push my trolley. I tend to take offers of help at face value, and feel quite sad that there are women who take offence at such offers.
No but I am now.Were you drooling and rubbing your hands together when you made your offer? Were you stroking your bottle of baby oil? Were you fingering your kumquats?
I bet you were doing one of the above. You were, weren't you!
Hang on... I'll just switch the web cam on....
mg: He needs a brazillian, or is it a hollywood? Whatever....shave it for the love of God!!!
I like women. They are frequently decorative and the often smell nice. They are the nicest thing a chap can have intimate relations with too. But the more I encounter them, the less I understand. A bit like that Lost programme on the telly.
I was in Tesco in the bustling metropolis of Newton Abbot today. It being Friday, I had purchased a punnet of kumquats, two parsnips and a bottle of organic baby oil. As I walked back to my vehicle, I had to tackle two sloping ramps to the upper car park. Half way up I encountered a curvaceous bottom squeezed precariously into a pair of black jeans. As I am now married, I averted my gaze and pretended to be studying a blue tit in a nearby tree.
The thing is that the bottom, well, its owner really, was struggling to push a heavilly laden trolley up the slope. Being a gentleman, noble, chivalrous, courteous and modest, I asked if she would like me to push the heavy load up the slope for her.
'No and how dare you.' came the surprising reply.
'People like you never get tired of patronising women do you?' she went on.
I said I was sorry she took my offer that way and returned to my car.
I was just trying to be polite. If it had been an elderly man or anyone struggling, I would have offered to help. The fact that she also had a rack on her like a dead heat in a zeppelin race is of no consequence.
Is this what women want? Is simple, common courtesy now regarded as insulting? If that's the case, I think it's a step in the wrong direction.
You herd the joke about the Priest who when offered a single wish by God he asked for a bridge built from England to America so he didn't have to fly or go by boat
God pointed out the massive drain on the earths resources and damage to the environment it would take to build such a bridge, so suggested the man think of a less demanding wish.
The priest apolagised for the selfishness of his first wish and thought for a while. He then decided that he would like to have womens psychology explained to him so he could be a better preist and better serve his parishioners.
God opted for the bridge.
ATB
Mark
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